Deflectometry is a powerful metrology technique that uses off-the-shelf equipment to achieve nanometer-level accuracy surface measurements. However, there is no portable device to quickly measure eyeglasses, lenses, or mirrors. We present an entirely portable new deflectometry technique that runs on any Android™ smartphone with a front-facing camera. Our technique overcomes some specific issues of portable devices like screen nonlinearity and automatic gain control. We demonstrate our application by measuring an amateur telescope mirror and simulating a measurement of the faulty Hubble Space Telescope primary mirror. Our technique can, in less than 1 min, measure surface errors with accuracy up to 50 nm RMS, simply using a smartphone.